Posted by
Keys to the Right on Tuesday, June 30, 2009 8:00:00 PM
Hello all!
I know, while I could be blogging about cap and trade, the Iranian elections or the fact that Michael Jackson has now become one of the zombies in his "Thriller" video, I've decided to do something more fun. I'm going to give a brief review of some of the movies I've seen over the spring and summer! I like to think of it as a public service to you so you don't waste your money. So hold on to your popcorn and Milk Duds because here comes the "Keys to the Right Summer Movie Review!" (cue trumpet fanfare.)
(Note: I do plan on doing a cartoon soon but I REFUSE to do a memorial cartoon for the King of Pop! Sorry, not happening!!!)
Watchmen
The best way I can describe this movie's story and character development is to think of it as a gold bar, and to think of the movie's gratuitous sex, nudity and violence as a dirty diaper that the gold bar is wrapped in. Whether you want to wade through all that mess and get to the great and amazing story that is "Watchmen" is entirely up to you. Honestly I'm just fine seeing the film only once. While I've heard that the graphic novel that the film is based on is pretty rough and, well, graphic, I feel like director Zack Snyder was doing his best to try and shock with as much sex, violence and male anatomical parts as possible. The only character you end up liking in the movie is Rorschach. The second generation Nite Owl is OK, but the Comedian is a sociopath, both Silk Specter's are loose women, Ozymandias is a sadistic, self-righteous jerk, and Dr. Manhattan is just plain weird and seriously PUT SOME PANTS ON PLEASE!!!!
The only other redeeming factor I found in this movie is the soundtrack. "Watchmen" features an appropriate and great mix of music featuring Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a Changin'," Simon and Garfunkl's "Sound of Silence" and one of my favorites, My Chemical Romance's rocking (and shorter) cover of Dylan's "Desolation Row." I've posted the link to the video here in this post so feel free to check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GagAXxbvIFo
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
If I haven't told you already, I'm a bit of a nerd. I've seen all of the first two and the last half of the third "X-Men" movies so when I found out that Hugh Jackman (who is very attractive IMHO) was doing a movie about how Wolverine came into being I was stoked. While I think that my money was well spent something felt like it was missing. It didn't feel quite the same as the first "X-Men" movies. Maybe it's because I'm getting older but it was just different IMO. Another bad thing is that the director decided to completely butcher Deadpool's character and get Gambit's age completely wrong so the movie gets more negative marks there. Plus there are a few extended scenes of Jackman naked but thankfully we only see him from the back and sides and not from the front like Dr. Manhattan. If you are a fan, I'd recommend you see it, but if not, you may want to save your money.
Star Trek
When I heard that this movie was coming out, I was skeptical. I always saw the original "Star Trek" series that my mother grew up with as cheesy and cheap. But after seeing this J.J. Abrams remake, I believe I can add another feather to my nerd cap: I've been turned into a Trekkie and am ready do delve deeper into the "Star Trek" universe and start watching the original series.
My fear was that when you usually re-make a classic TV series, you tend to tramp it up in order to make it more "modern." In doing so you end up slaughtering something sacred to your childhood and come out of the theater feeling dirty. However, for the most part you don't come away feeling like that with this movie. While I'm pretty unfamiliar with the original series, I think that the series was pretty loyal to the original characters and the story was compelling despite the few moral bumps in the road that the movie had. I seriously liked this movie!
The downsides:
Leonard Nimoy did not age well and Simon Pegg who played Scotty and Anton Yelchin who played Chekov did not get enough screen time. But otherwise, a fun ride that I highly recommend.
Monsters vs. Aliens
I'll be honest with you, the only reason that I wanted to see this movie was because Hugh Laurie did the voice of Dr. Cockroach. I was honestly expecting this film to be a rather raunchy animated film that I would never take my kids to, but I was honestly surprised at how relatively clean this movie was and how well it was written and how cute it was. Not only did Dreamworks SKG put together an all-star cast that included Laurie, Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogan, Stephen Colbert, Kiefer Sutherland, Will Arnett and Rainn Wilson. Plus, it's got humor that both kids and adults can enjoy and there are only a few toilet humor incidences that parents don't have to really worry about. This is one of the best kids' movies to come out this summer and like "Star Trek," I highly recommend it.
Up
I'll say right now that I'm a huge fan of Pixar. I was just a kid when "Toy Story" came out and I automatically fell in love with their work and have tried to see every one of their movies when it comes out. This movie is a heartwarming and wonderful ride that teaches the important lesson that people are more important than things. However there are a few points in the movie that I thought were just flat-out silly (such as dogs flying little bi-planes) but then again I was at a kids' movie so I guess I can overlook that. (That and the fact that Ed Asner does the voice of Carl Fredricksen.) Otherwise, another film I recommend for the whole family.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
I was too little to appreciate the original "Transformers" cartoon or play with the action figures and when I saw the trailer for the first movie, I thought it was going to be stupid. But then I saw it and the first "Transformers" took it's spot as my favorite movie.
So I was naturally as excited as a cat in a field of catnip when I saw the trailer for the "Revenge of the Fallen" during the Super Bowl.
However when I sat down in the theater, that excitement started to wear of rather quickly. I expected it to be a little raunchy like the first film but this one was two times as raunchy as the first one and honestly spoiled the movie for me. Some of my friends and co-workers who went with me had brought their kids with them but I honestly wouldn't let anyone under 16 1/2 to see this movie. The only reason you go to see this movie is to take in the CGI Autobots fighting CGI Decepticons. And while that's fun, and freakin' awesome and all, it gets spoiled rather quickly. (On a nerdy note, there was one scene toward the end of the movie that made me wonder whether Autobots have souls or not. I'm not going to give away the scene because that would be spoiling the movie.)
Another thing I liked about this movie is the new Linkin Park song that they picked for it, "New Divide." I've been a fan of Linkin Park since they came out in '01 and '02, and while I liked them when they were more angry in the early days, I'm still a big fan of their music. Here's the link to the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysSxxIqKNN0
If you want to see this movie, go ahead but tread lightly and remember: you've been warned.
Coming Attractions:
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs: (Blue Sky and 20th Century Fox are back again with Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah and the Scrat in this pre-historic epic of T. Rex sized-proportions.)
Ponyo: (Master director Hayao Miyazaki presents a wonderful undersea animated tale distributed by Disney and features the voices of Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, Tina Fey, Frankie Jonas, Liam Neeson and Betty White.)
Dead Snow: A German film that features college coeds, a Spring Break ski vacation and Nazi zombies. What more could you ask for?)
Shorts: (Director Robert Rodriguez [Spy Kids] brings us the silly and fun tale of a boy who finds a rock that grants wishes and when others find and use the rock, silly chaos and all-out hilarity ensues.)
The Final Destination: (Another rehash of a tired horror franchise. The only reason I'm going to see it is so I can riff it "Mystery Science Theater 3000" style. Too bad I can't get Tom Servo and Crow to come with me.)
The Hurt Locker: (A tough, gritty story of an Army bomb diffuser in Iraq. Looks realistic, relevant and entertaining.)
The Stoning of Soraya M.: (Base on the real story of a woman stoned to death in Iran for "crimes" she didn't commit. A raw and relevant look at the plight of women in Iran today.)
Moon: (A fresh-looking Sci-fi film that takes you into the life of an astronaut alone on the moon and the mental issues that his mission involves.)
Gooby: (A story about a boy adjusting to moving with the help of his teddy bear who comes to life. A sweet-looking story that features David James Elliot and the voice of Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid from "Harry Potter."))
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: (The saga of the boy wizard continues in this adaptation of the book that I need to read before I see it. [Spoiler: Snape kills Dumbledore.])
Well that's about it from me. I plan to be back soon with more movie reviews and political rantings and cartoons, so sight tight and stay cool this summer!
Keys to the Right ^^
P.S. Live long and prosper. \\//